do you want to lose the other eye?
by bakamonkey13
Summary: “Braig. Leave that thing alone.” Ienzo said, flipping his hair out of his face. Braig looked at him, his eyes wide. “Ienzo!” he exclaimed, pointing at Fooby, “Dude! The thing fuckin’ WINKED at me!” RANDOMASS DRABBLE!


Totally and completely fuckin' random. Probably because of too much sugar, too little sleep, too much KH2, and way too much…I don't even fuckin' know. It's two A.M. Leave me the hell alone.

I do not fuckin' own Kingdom Hearts.  
Or the Heartless.  
Or Xehanort and his heart obsession.  
Nor Braig, Dilan, Even, Elaeus, Ienzo.  
Nor Fooby the Shadow Heartless.

♥ **do you w a n t to lose the other eye?** ♥

It was dark in the lab. Well. THAT much was to be expected. Xehanort, High Ones help him, had heliophobia or something. That's why their lab was located UNDER THE FUCKIN' CASTLE! Oh, yeah. He said that it was because the Heartless thrived in darkness. The Heartless were less heliophobic than good ol' Xehanort himself. It was so dark in the lab that the only light was coming from a glowing red heart, which was floating carelessly in the air at the large desk in the center of the room, Xehanort himself standing there, staring at it as if it was going to randomly spring to life and give him a lap dance.

Even was at his own smaller desk, which was located a few feet away from the main desk. His cold eyes were pressed against the lens of his microscope. Every so often, he would pull away to write a note or to switch a sample to view.

Elaeus and Dilan were standing a few feet away from the desk, on the opposite side of Even, deeply enthralled in some sort of deep conversation that no one else really cared to pay attention to.

Ienzo, the youngest, was SUPPOSED to be taking notes as Xehanort rambled to him about the nature of hearts and such. Not that he wasn't. But Xehanort had already covered the same subject three times, therefore, the notes were already taken. He was staring absently over to where a small Shadow Heartless - who Braig had lovingly named Fooby - was locked away in his cage.

Braig, of course, was doing something utterly stupid. He was poking Fooby. Poking. Relentlessly. Oh By the Powers That Be, that man was a pure idiot. Ienzo rolled his eyes as the eye-patch sporting, pony-tailed man continued provoking Fooby.

"Braig. Leave that thing alone." Ienzo said, flipping his hair out of his face. Braig looked at him, his eyes wide.

"Ienzo!" he exclaimed, pointing at Fooby, "Dude! The thing fuckin' WINKED at me!"

Even, who worked best in silence, sat up, his aura spitting pure hatred. He turned in his chair and glared at Braig, who blinked at him, then ruefully stuck his tongue out at the blonde before turning his attention back to Fooby. Dilan had momentarily broke off his and Elaeus' conversation to shout at the other black-haired man.

"Need I remind you how you lost your eye?" Dilan said simply. Braig glared at him, causing him to roll his eyes and return to his conversation. Xehanort, who had been doing his best not to stab Braig's other eye out with the pen in his hand, coughed rather unceremoniously and turned away from the heart to stare Braig down. The eye-patched man swiftly moved behind Fooby's cage, as if his "pet" would protect him from Xehanort's rage. Fooby simply poked at Xehanort's arm with his antennae, then snuggled into a ball in his cage, and fell into a deep slumber where he would dream of dancing through fields of joy and such.

"Braig, leave Fooby alone. Even, stop mocking Braig. Dilan, Ienzo, Braig, Even; shut up. You're upsetting the heart." Xehanort said his last sentence rather…um…insanely. He gently reached out and placed his hands around the heart, or around the aura - he couldn't touch the actual heart, and gazed at it lovingly.

Braig and Ienzo, who were the only two still paying attention to Xehanort, twitched in unison.

"Marry that thing, why don't you, 'Nort?" Braig said teasingly.

A few moments later, Braig had fled the lab, chased by Xehanort, who was brandishing his pen and yelling obscenities in every language known to man and Heartless.

Ienzo chuckled and petted Fooby, who nuzzled his hand like a cat. Aw. Heartless weren't so bad.

"OW!BITCH!"

Fooby gazed at him innocently while Ienzo tried to find something to stop the blood from spilling from his now bleeding arm onto his white lab coat. Sadly, it was too dark to find anything. Xehanort was bleaching his coat, dammit.

♥ **le end** ♥

Told ya it was weird.

READ & REVIEW DAMMIT! Or Fooby eats Ienzo's face.


End file.
